Jack's school has a huge problem. It's a regular public school, with supposedly trained Intervention Specialists, but I have begun to question what exactly they're trained in. Talking a good game? Making an utter mess out of everything? Yesterday I had to pull him out of school. The principal officially referred to it as an "emergency removal", which the school staff concurred was "appropriate". (Why thank you). Thing is, I didn't ask permission. I didn't stick around to hear what my son did that was so awful. I didn't even stick around to question why my son was in the dark, sitting there with 3 adults, one of which I have never even met. (I know her name now, but have absolutely zero idea what her capacity is at the school, and why she was there "helping out").
Jack is in 3rd grade. We're half way through the year, making it about 4 years since he's started attending their school. They know him. They should know his triggers by now, and they should know the best ways to diffuse him when he's upset. My concern is that they continue to fail him in situations where even simply asking him "What happened? Why are you upset?" (in a calm, soothing way), could make him feel like they at least cared to hear his side of the story. Yesterday he wanted to sit somewhere in the cafeteria, but apparently the child sitting next to this empty seat told Jack that he couldn't sit there. Well, I don't know if he was saving the seat, or simply didn't like Jack.. but the end result was the same. Jack got upset that some little kid (a First grader) was telling him what he couldn't do. The understanding is that at no time did an adult ask Jack what was wrong, or ask why he was yelling at this other boy, so that he could return to lunch. It's just that he was becoming "out of control", and a safety concern for others. They are supposed to be using these situations in a way that helps him- teaches him. They are instead pulling him away from the lunch room, which makes him feel like he did something "bad", then making him stay in a different room and getting face-to-face with him. (They tell me he got nose-to-nose with the Intervention Specialist, but that can only happen if he's on his tip-toes, on a chair, or she's bending down). How exactly does this make him calm down?
I know they expect me to change his medication again, to make their lives easier. They also refuse to admit that 1.) what they're doing doesn't work, and 2.) they simply do not have what it takes to serve him. I have given a lot of thought to home schooling him (or giving him "Home Instruction"), and this morning I requested that this be an option in his IEP. If it's in the IEP, then I want the option to do this with/for Jack for the remainder of this school year. I have simply lost confidence in the school, and the thought of sending him there any longer makes me sick to my stomach.
Since I do want Jack to realize that a number of actions he took yesterday - poorly displaying his "disappointment" - were unwise, I had him write an apology note to the Intervention Specialist. His note was highly amusing.. he said he was sorry for yelling in her face, but then said "I forgive you". I would have made him erase that bit, but you know what? Maybe that will give her something to think about.
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