Paperwork blows

I'm sitting here trying to collect all sorts of documents for Jack's redetermination visit with the psychologist tomorrow morning. This would include a current IEP, ETR (MFE), any psych evaluation and diagnosis, and why not throw in a Functional Behavior Assessment for good measure? As if that weren't "bothersome" enough, I have to fill out the first-time patient crap, telling them whatever the other documents will tell them in *much* more detail. I am absolutely dizzy going through papers to answer these questions.

What kills me is that the County has all of this information, but what.. they can't be bothered to pass it along for me? They're the ones judging whether or not my son still has Autism, by their standards. Some people would think I would be happy for Jack to "graduate" from Autism, but with the behaviors manifesting the way they are, and the apparent need for medication (or some sort of behavior management and social skills training), I would hope they would see that he still needs their support. True, we do not use their babysitting services (aka Respite Care), and we did opt to pay out of our own pockets for his "psychotherapy"/counseling, but should there be a real need for help that we can't take on by ourselves financially, it's good to have that back up. Not to mention, I see that the school Jack attends really doesn't like to have the County interfere in any way with how they handle him, and this makes me question why. So even if the County cannot force their hand unless there was something abusive happening in school, they would be there to support Jack as well as myself- even by just being there during IEP meetings, if I wanted. That alone is worth having them involved, and having Jack stay under their watchful eye.. even if I really dislike having the visits to the home every few months. (I'm just not a people person!).

What's really sad is how much information about Jack's early childhood I seem to have blocked out. I can remember a lot of his older sister's, but not his. It was so stressful, so maybe that's why. Thank goodness I keep all of my old calendars, so I can go back and see when he started crawling, took his first steps, etc. It's pretty $h*tty of me as a mom to say that I don't recall my youngest child's babyhood. A lot of what I do remember is negative, too. That's just wrong. Yet I have this huge mountain of papers.. growing as I type.. to remind me of just why that is.

Can't wait to get tomorrow.. get this redetermination crap.. over and done with.