No, I don't need praise from anyone for doing something that needed to be done. My job is to raise my child, and if at some point, raising my child includes educating him, then that's what I do. It is nice to get kudos, though. Jack's service coordinator with the county came over on Thursday to check on how things have been going, and she seemed very impressed by everything. Jack has his corner in the upstairs living room- a wall with his daily schedule, his artwork, spelling words, math facts, a clock, etc.. his desk and chair (just like school has), all the books and supplies he needs for the day. I have now two 3-ring binders, one that contains just his completed Math work, and the other for everything else (though I have a lot not yet in either). Jack follows the same schedule that his classmates do, so I have a plastic drawer organizer sorted in order by the day's schedule. My binders are organized the same way. Everything we do I write down on a daily schedule. I don't write it in advance, unless there is something I know we are definitely doing, but I write it in during or after the fact. I also keep track of homework, and keep his homework sheets to look back on. Jack is very good about doing homework, thank goodness. A few days here and there he puts it off, but most of the time he does it almost as soon as we're done for the day, before I leave to pick up Savannah from school.
I take my job seriously. Yes, I do think of this as a job. There is no monetary compensation, much like being a stay-at-home mom has no monetary compensation. However, getting through the day, and being able to sleep, is sometimes payment enough. I swear I'm so tired at the end of the day that I'm sleeping better than I have in a long time. Some of the things that consumed my thoughts before this all happened have really just become so unimportant to me.. there's no time to worry about some of the things I worried about before, because I'm too busy worried about making sure that Jack has learned enough for the year to be successful on his math and reading achievement tests. I need him to do well. I don't want him to end up needing additional help over the summer. I am trying to look at it as whatever he knows he knows, and whatever he doesn't, well, he doesn't. In other words, he will go in there, and despite whatever the teacher and I have collectively taught him, he will answer the questions how he answers them. He may rush, he may not look back at questions he's missed, he may forget to show his work, or label, or even write in complete sentences.. in a way that makes sense. The teacher has done what she could, and I have done what I can. I have one more week to emphasize the importance of all of these things, in a way that doesn't stress the poor kid out. I have to tell myself that however he does on these tests, especially if it's not great, it is not a representation of my failure as a "teacher".
A few weeks ago was his last visit with the psychiatrist, and I had explained that I really wanted to wean him off the Intuniv. The dr. thought it seemed better to try the 6mg before considering that, though we were already at 4mg, so I didn't get the jump up to 6? We decided to fill the Rx and use it to wean him (having pills of just about all mg's to do so). However, we still need him to get through the tests coming up, and he has been SO hyper, and his behavior has worsened slightly. We decided to bump him up to 5, at least til the end of the school year, and then wean him over the summer. He was tired the first few days, but now he's hyper again. I think it shows this med just doesn't work anymore. We need a new doctor for sure. I can't seem to find any pediatric psychiatrists in the area, so it may be a search for a new pediatrician who specializes in Autism and ADHD. Why is this so difficult anyway??
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