Whenever the "SHTF" (sh*t hits the fan), my body decides to hate me. Right now, the right side of my head is in revolt. My throat hurts when I swallow, which causes my right ear to throb. The pain extends from the top of the right side of my head, to my eye, down to my neck. Unfortunately, this has become a pretty common occurrence.
Yesterday I got a phone call from the principal. My Jack was not having a good morning. I honestly don't know which side of the story to believe, but apparently Jack was talking about a video that he and I started to watch together, when I had him shut it off because the creator of the video said the F word. Another boy on the bus must have thought this was silly because he said something to the effect of "It's a free country" (as in, why would you need to turn it off, or why can't you hear bad words?) so he should have been able to watch it. Jack asked him if he was allowed to watch things with inappropriate content, and whatever the actual response was, Jack was surprised that he was allowed to, since he was just a kid. (This is slightly different from the principal's version, which is what she heard from the other boy- that the boy told Jack that he was not allowed to, because he was just a child). Then, as per Jack's version, this boy got upset at Jack basically calling him a baby. This created a bad situation. The bus driver was forced to pull over and move the boys apart from each other. Jack must have been steamed by the time they got to school, because the driver reports that Jack actually spit on him, hit and kicked him. (The principal thinks Jack was just blowing in his face, as he had been doing with the other boys he was mad at). Every child on that bus was crying by the time they got to school. So Jack was suspended from the bus until Monday.
continued Friday morning...
It took Jack quite a while to calm down. After some other incidents, eventually recess came and went. At the end of recess when the kids were lining up, Jack saw that this other boy was in line ahead of him. It went downhill from there. All the unresolved anger/feelings came rushing back, and Jack was totally enraged. First he was in the principal's office, then in the resource room- where he absolutely went nuts. He even knocked over some of the shorter bookcases. Later, he realized what he did and felt remorseful. He did put the room back the way it was. Because the Special Ed. director was not able to come in to help, she sent in her Middle School counterpart, who helped Jack process, along with the IS. As one consequence of his behavior, he spent all of yesterday in the resource (IS's) room. He will also not be returning to the bus any time soon.
The IS did have Jack and this other boy meet at the end of the day to talk about what happened, and to explain their separate views on the conversation that went so wrong. They talked about things they have in common, and by the end of it, I guess they were having fun. They also were allowed to play Minecraft side by side, on separate iPads. I think because Jack really didn't care for being out of his regular classroom all day, he had one of the best days yet this year.
I know that there are many families who have it MUCH worse than this. I don't envy them at all. Some days, I don't know how things could get any worse.. but it's hard not to give in to the feelings of utter hopelessness and despair, not knowing how to make things better. I mean, this isn't something ABA at home is going to help. (Not in my opinion, anyway). This isn't something an hour a week on a couch is going to fix. This isn't something that ADHD meds are going to help either, apparently. Even the psychiatrist said I needed to send Jack to a real MD. We don't see this behavior at home. I mean, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being what happened on Wednesday, we see maybe 1-3 at most. So how do I fix this, or even attempt to? In-home behavior supports cannot address fully the challenges he's facing in the school setting. I have no idea why he feels it's ok to act out there - when here at home is where he should act out most, because he is more comfortable here. I don't know if he's testing people to see how far he can go, or what. I feel like he needs a cat scan or something, to rule out something neurological. I mean seriously, what the hell??
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