Yesterday Jack had a med check. I brought with me some emails from both the regular teacher as well as the IS (intervention specialist), specific to ADHD behaviors. Then I provided my own list of symptoms as provided by this website, checking off everything that applies with regard to inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. (Almost every single thing was checked off- I didn't even need to ask the teacher and IS about the list for impulsiveness. LOL). I also brought a rough draft copy of Jack's current IEP (put together for yesterday's appointment, but minus a page from the Speech Therapist), highlighting the pages referring to behaviors. Then I included a note about how Jack was suspended from the school bus for (supposedly) spitting on and hitting the driver.
The doctor was pretty surprised that things had gotten that bad. Considering how well Jack is doing academically (well, we know he's smart, whether he cares to do the work or not)- he's in 4th grade, but reading at a 7th grade level, and capable of 6th grade math- he feels at this point that we're not so much looking at ADHD, but possibly bipolar (or something of that nature). Normally, the pediatrician does not prescribe medication for things beyond ADHD, but will in some cases- and in our case, with poor luck in being able to find a psychiatrist to help us, he was willing to go that extra step. He asked me my thoughts on that, and I told him quite honestly that I have finally gotten to the point where I know this is (unfortunately) what we need to do. I'm not crazy about it, but I've come to the realization that the one piece we're really struggling with here (Jack's extreme anger) is not going to be addressed with mere ADHD meds.
I just have to say that I love Jack. He's a good kid. He is a smart kid. He is a sweet boy who is really great when he's in a good place, mentally. I hate that he has been chosen (if you will) to have Autism, ADHD, ODD.. and whatever else. I absolutely hate that my 10 year old boy has been dealt with this plate. I know that I didn't do this to him, but it doesn't make me feel any less awful about it. I may as well have smoked while pregnant or something. He did absolutely nothing to deserve any of this. It's beyond asking "Why me?". It's really "Why him?" I feel like everything happens for a reason. Jack is going through this to teach people something, or maybe to make me a better person, or who knows what. At this point, Jack is too young and immature to learn anything from this. He would reject the notion of learning from it anyway. He's just not that kind of person. Really all I can do is be there for him to the best of my ability. I can only hope that I'm allowed to be here, with full physical and mental capacity, for the long haul. I need to take care of my son until he is legally, physically, and mentally able to take over and care for himself.
The pediatrician, being as helpful as he could be in this situation, prescribed Abilify. (I do have reservations. A definite side effect here is weight gain, and Jack is now about 95lbs. He was 65lbs or so a year ago, when we started the Intuniv). *Jack, when he heard the doctor say the word "Abilify" actually freaked out and said he was scared. Then he told us that he heard on a commercial that people who take it can die. Needless to say, I assured him that he would be ok, while trying my best not to laugh. The doctor just shook his head and said he didn't give much stock to commercials, or something to that effect.* The doctor did say that if this seems to help Jack, then chances are good that we're looking at Bipolar. (I'm not sure how I feel about that statement- maybe yes, maybe no. Guess it remains to be seen). We'll keep Jack on the Intuniv for now, and if the Abilify seems to be helping, then we may wean Jack off of the Intuniv. (Seeing how hyper he is off of it, that might be interesting).
All I can say at the moment is ARRRGH!!
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