The parents, who were indicted on misdemeanor counts of nonsupport, allegedly left the boy with children's services after saying he was displaying aggressive behavior and earlier threatened the family with a knife. They were due in a Butler County court on Wednesday. Cleveland Cox, 49, his 52-year-old wife, Lisa, and their attorney, Anthony Vannoy, did not immediately return calls seeking comment.
Ugh. This story brings a lot of emotion to the surface. On the one hand, I think "how dare they?!" On the other, I think that I know what they're going through, and feel for them. It's hard enough when you have given birth to a child displaying such aggression, but for them, knowing this child was adopted, they probably felt it was the best thing they could do. They felt like they had an "out"- they could just give him back and be done with it. Then again, they made the choice to take on a child as an infant. No child comes with guarantees. There is no way to know what kind of person any of us will become- and some things just can't be stopped. You might nurture that kid with all your might, but that doesn't mean that nature won't do its part.
Having read the comments on the news station's Facebook page, I see a lot of other parents out there with kids struggling, who are just as frustrated. We literally have to fight for the help we get our kids sometimes. It may take years for other people to connect the dots we've long since connected. Countless doctor visits. Swapping a psychologist or "counselor" for a psychiatrist, who doesn't seem to know what the hell they're doing. Pediatricians who seem convince WE must be the crazy ones- because they only see our kids for like 10 minutes out of the year, for well visits, and they didn't notice anything out of the norm. It's hard enough to get a child diagnosed with Autism, but when you're looking at a possible mental illness, things are likely going to get a sh*t-ton worse before they ever get better.
I love my son with all of my heart. I know it's gotten bad.. and we're not into puberty yet, so I can only imagine there is worse yet to come (though man, I hope not!). I also know that it would take something really and truly bad before I handed him over to someone else to care for. By that, I don't mean giving him up for adoption, or letting him become a ward of the state. I mean a psychiatric hospital, or a residential treatment center, or a place just better suited for his needs. I think if it came to the point where Jack just could not be trusted (thinking about physical harm to others here), then it would be in everyone's best interest. But I wouldn't be giving up on him. I would be doing it FOR him. That's really what bothers me about this particular story. Yes, it sounds like things got pretty bad. But to just give up on the child they made a choice to bring into their house as a baby? They are his parents. The message they are sending to him speaks louder than any words every could.
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