This last Monday, I emailed the teacher and the IS about Jack's behavior over the last week. He had a field trip on that previous Friday, and he was irritated (by me) a lot- wanting to know if he'd seen or heard something neat that the tour guide had said, for example. He was supposed to dress nicely, but ended up wearing a Pokemon shirt with cut-off sleeves, that was really not appropriate for where we were.. thus upsetting him that I was "forcing" him to wear the nicer shirt over it. (Really, it wasn't nicer.. but it was long-sleeved and had a collar, and he wore a tie. That was at least something).
When I got emails back from both the teacher and the IS, I got both positives and negatives (which is just bound to be the case- and totally expected these days). So on Tuesday, the IS told me that Jack had come in tired but happy on Monday morning. He put down all of his friends chairs when he arrived, to do something nice. Not very long after that, he was asked to leave the teacher's room because he got upset with her when she told him that he had an assignment missing. She asked him to get a new paper to complete the assignment, and he pretty much went off on her, yelling at her to not tell him what to do. He crumpled up a visual reminder to use a respectful tone of voice (and choice of words), after which he was sent to the IS's room. He blew in her face and pushed her, and also pulled her hair. That said, he did deescalate more quickly than before, and they created a goal for him to work towards for the week. She also told me that he has been more willing to listen to her perspective of a situation, and is thinking things through more than he has in the past. The amount of aggression that week was very minimal- I think hair pulling was about it. (When I asked him about it, he didn't seem the least bit sorry for that. Simply said that he was mad.. said in a way that was like "hey, that's what she gets for making me mad". That really bothers me, to say the least).
The teacher told me of another incident that she thought was positive. Jack was very upset when he came into the classroom, because he realized that he had forgotten something I let him make for his friends the night before. She assured him that sometimes we forget things, and asked what might help him feel better since he forgot to bring it. He didn't respond, but he did go and sit down to process the situation by himself. He then was able to move on with his morning. She was impressed with how he ultimately handled a rough situation.
One of the things the IS mentioned was that she wanted to create a goal for him this week, if he can meet the expectation of "no physical aggression". Last week's goal was the field trip, and he managed somehow to earn that- I'm sure he really wanted to go, since he missed out on the field trip in 3rd grade, with my having to pull him out of school. The unfortunate thing is that he had pretty much ruined his goal for this week. He was working for a "game afternoon" with his friends, but I don't see that happening any time soon. I got a phone call from the principal and IS last night, letting me know of a particularly bad incident that happened at recess. :(
So last night while making marinara sauce, my cell phone rang. It was the principal asking if I had a moment to talk with her and the IS about Jack's day. SIGH. Jack had a great morning, however at recess, he got upset with a girl who cut in front of him as he was waiting for a swing. (The swing is probably Jack's favorite thing at the playground- always has been. He might do nothing else but swing). I don't know if he was distracted, so not actively looking at the swing when the kid already on it got off, but a girl came along and beat him to it. He yelled at her, and another student gave him a hard time and told him to be nice to her. Well of course you can imagine that didn't go over too well. A teacher came over to intervene, and Jack hit him/her. I think he blew in one of the kids' faces, and then when another teacher came along, he pushed them. The IS was brought out to handle him, and I guess during the process of trying to get him to calm down (after they were already inside the building, and recess had ended), he began hitting her. At some point he actually ran out of the building, or made an attempt to. He also went back to one of the teacher's rooms (the one who originally stepped in) and yelled at them in front of their class.
My thought when Jack acts like this is that he's behaving like an animal. He is in total fight-or-flight mode, and he will do absolutely whatever it takes to get himself out of the situation- even if that means pushing back as hard as he possibly can. He leaves a lot of destruction in his wake. :( As a result of this behavior, he will be out of the regular classroom for the next 5 days, at the least. He has to write a letter of apology to the students and teachers involved, to the class he interrupted, and will have to do some type of "community service" for that classroom as well. The principal also told Jack that if he ever left the building, they would have to call the police. (The odd thing is that he didn't really respond to this comment- normally he would flip out).
The pediatrician has given me enough pills so that if the 2mg of the Abilify was not working, I could bump him up to 4mg. Honestly, it's been 2 weeks since he started this medication. I know a possible side effect can be this exact behavior. However, I also know this isn't new behavior- I've seen it before. So while we have so many positives from the Abilify, and the first week was a great improvement compared to previous weeks, it could be he's also just having a bad week. I don't know that upping the dosage now makes sense. It's not an ideal situation, to say the least. This may not even be the right med for him. Since he won't be in the regular classroom, I will keep him at his current dose until Tuesday, when he goes back for a med check.
The scary thing (one of the many scary things) is that this behavior, if we can't seem to get a handle on it, will lead to one of very few places- jail, an institution, a school for disturbed kids.. these are the options looming on the horizon. It's a total nightmare to think of the first two, and I hate to see us having to resort to the third option. But I don't know what in God's name to do at this point. Jack's dad has a real concern about him becoming violent here at home, and possibly hurting one of us. That just can't happen.
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