Suspended in motion

October of last year. Jack got his first suspension. I can't tell you how much that sucks to type out, but it's true. I have one of *those* kids. Well, it seems like it. I mean, we are dealing with legitimate diagnoses here- Autism, ADHD, Sensory Processing.. and something the pediatrician writes down in his notes as "Episodic Mood Disorder" (for lack of anything else to call it). The first time, he was suspended for having to get in the last word. He didn't like what was happening- either what the kid was saying or doing, and at this point the specifics are irrelevant- so he lashed out with words that were sure to get the other kid's attention. Unfortunately, those words were more serious than he could have realized. So he was suspended for a day.

His dad and I were pissed that the school knew that he didn't mean it- he just wanted the other kid to shut up and leave him alone. There was no physical threat of violence, in that there was nothing he had in his hand to scare the other child with. (So he couldn't have done what he said he wanted to do). But sometimes it's not just "sticks and stones"- words do actually hurt people. They also earn you a day home. We were also pissed that with Jack not really grasping the full impact of what he did, he was made to sign a form about what he had done. (The same form also said he was entitled to explain himself at a hearing, but that never happened). His dad and I met during school hours with the superintendent, principal and the Special Ed. director. We were concerned about the suspension following him to middle school, but they assured us it wouldn't. The suspension stood, and Jack stayed home the next day.

Jump to today, where I got a phone call from the school secretary, that the principal would like me to meet Jack inside the school when I came to pick him up. That's never a good sign. In fact, on my way there, I pretty much reached the conclusion that he must have been suspended.

Honestly, I don't want to get too much into what happened. Jack and another student were arguing over their opinions about a particular toy. Jack tried to make the right choices in going to a grown-up, then trying to remove himself to a calmer place. But intentions only go so far when another student somehow ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time. That student ended up on the ground. It could have been very serious, to say the least. After discussion with Jack about what would need to happen if the other child had done the same thing to him, he agreed that the punishment/consequence should be serious.

The principal felt really bad for having to resort to suspension. Really apologetic. I think maybe she felt that bad because she had spoken with the Special Ed. director after the fact, and got the skinny on what happened the last time Jack was suspended. In fact, the Special Ed. director told her that if I was really upset about it (and by upset, I'm thinking she meant angry) that I should call her. In any case, I'm not planning to call her. I agree that Jack needs to realize just how serious his actions were, and what could have potentially happened to that other boy. No doubt, it's pretty messed up all the way around. I really try to hold myself together in situations like these. I mean, we've seen some bad stuff this year. I couldn't help by cry there in the principal's office. Just enough to know I looked like a clown with my big red nose. LOL

We have our first visit with the Clinic on Tuesday, which I let the principal know about. She said that the Intervention Specialist is going to put together a Behavior Data packet to give me on Monday, which will hopefully be helpful. It's nice of them to do that for me. Now if we can only get some help for Jack. :(