The boy, my son

Yesterday morning I went to the school early to meet with the Principal, Intervention Specialist, and the Special Ed. director. They felt it was important to touch base after Jack's suspension, and also wanted to provide me with the data they have collected this school year, up to Dec 3rd- that would include incidents graphed by class (what time of day the incident happened), and by duration of each episode from start to finish. I also received a number of incidents per "trigger", as well as a log of behaviors.. every incident.

My first thought is really just how grateful I am for this information. It's what I wish his old school would have put together for me, but it's like they didn't think I needed to know, or weren't thinking of how important it would be to do so.. despite countless suggestions that data be charted. This is exactly the kind of information I could have taken to someone last year, when things were starting to go bad. In looking at this behavior log, though, it occurs to me that Jack is so used to behaving in this manner at school that I'm not sure we can "train" him otherwise. :(

In the process of going over the information, we came to the conclusion that Jack simply cannot handle a full day in a classroom with his peers. The biggest problem times of the day are when he has the most social interaction or social "noise". This includes group discussion, periods of learning where the teacher stops to ask and answer questions, recess of course, gym, etc.. and does best during quiet time. While he may complain about being in the IS's room, he is able to get his work done in half the time it takes the other students. It was also decided that for the time being, he will no longer be participating in gym. This would not be as a punishment, but really because it's such a struggle for him. They will think of something else he can do in the meantime. (I did have my concerns about 1.) him missing out on physical activity, and 2.) how he would react to being told he could not go. As I thought would happen, he was upset about it. They thought he would be ok with it since it's his least favorite class. I don't see that as the case, really. I mean, he has always liked the play time part of gym, but the teachers rub him the wrong way, or he can't follow directions, or he's just not good at what he needs to do. They did point out that a lot of gym time is spent waiting or getting instructions (things Jack hates). Maybe if they find something more exciting for him, then he'll be more receptive to the idea. We'll see).

They also agreed that he's a hard bird to figure out. First, they were surprised that he was surprised about his consequence for what he did to get suspended. I was under the assumption that he told the principal that if someone had done the same thing he had done, they should be expelled. That doesn't sound like surprise to me. He may have been surprised realizing what he had done, and that somehow it was serious enough to lead to suspension- he often doesn't realize *all* the consequences. Not just punishment for him, but how his actions affect others, be it physically or emotionally. Second, what the data seems to suggest is that he does really well (tries really hard anyway) up to the point where he earns a much wanted reward, but then after he gets the reward, he has to let out everything that has been building up in him to that point. We see that at home, but I hadn't thought of it in the same way. To me it was Jack finally getting what he wanted, and then just being a jerk after the fact. HAHA Like he could act however he wanted now that he got his reward. But how they put it makes sense, too. I did ask if there seemed to be a pattern otherwise in terms of good weeks and bad weeks, like we somehow see at home. But there doesn't seem to be one at school. I think it's the environment there in general. It's too much. Taking him out of school is not the answer, but adjusting his surroundings and experiences to support his needs is. (That's kind of a no-brainer!)

I will say that the Behavior Log kind of made me gasp. I shouldn't be surprised at anything Jack does these days, but honestly, when you see it all laid out in full detail- every little thing that has never made it into phone conversations or email, and hasn't found it's way onto the weekly Behavior charts- it's overwhelming. Not overwhelming, but.. Last night I read some of the things to my sister on the phone, and she was in shock. She asked me what I think we can do about it, or what Jack's dad thinks about it. I was like "What the $@%! do you do? There's "jack sh*+" to do about i!". This isn't a merely a list of dirty laundry, so to speak. This is beyond a couch session once a week. Flabbergasted. That's really a good word for this.

Now that I'm armed with all of this data, I'll be taking that with me today to the NeuroPsych clinic. This is out first visit, and I have absolutely zero idea what to expect. I guess it won't be much different then the first time I took him to a Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician after his initial diagnosis of Autism. The Doctor will want to observe him while asking me questions about his life history, etc. Sounds like loads of fun. I think I'll be bringing water and Tylenol.