As the anniversary of his being diagnosed looms on the horizon (which would be next year), I'm flashing back to his last semester of preschool when we had to prepare for his transition to elementary school. There are plenty of parents who are anxious about the experience to begin with, for a typical child. I know I was with Savannah, but it's really amped up when your kid is "different"- handicapped, delayed, whatever. We want the best teachers, we want smooth sailing. But when your kid is really unpredictable day in and day out, you can only hope and pray that the teacher they end up with for the year is patient and understanding. I know all too well that teachers (as humans) only have but so much of either before they want to rip their hair out or ask for the child to be moved to another room. (Not sure they're allowed to do it, but I bet they go to sleep at night praying for a miracle).
Now we're in the home stretch of elementary school, transitioning to middle school. I feel completely unprepared. I have not yet met anybody from the new "team" (with the exception of the mental health specialist from his old school, who also works at the middle school Jack will be move on to). Every teacher in his preschool lived and breathed IEP's. They had to know any and everything about their students, because some of the kids couldn't even talk- it was almost the only way to know anything about them. My experience with elementary school has been, well, lacking? Things have improved over the years, and due to the severity of Jack's behavior issues, I have gotten to know people that I wouldn't have otherwise. However, it just doesn't seem like the whole process is as organized or assuring. If you think you get a support system just for having a kid with Autism, well guess again. :(
In the early days of preschool, I had no idea about what IEP's were. I received my draft beforehand, and made my notes so that I could ask questions, but essentially the staff at the school were the "drivers". In the first few years of elementary school (with gradual improvements each year), I have had to push for tests or assessments, and remind people at times that the current IEP was expiring. It's a big deal, and yet there's a bunch of people who haven't gotten the memo. I would stress before every meeting, because it was always in the back of my mind that they might miss something important, and I'd have to fight tooth and nail for.. hell, for anything. The last two years, I am not sure what I think. Maybe it's somewhere in the middle.
Now we're preparing mentally (or certainly I am) for a whole new environment. New friends, and new jerks. Staff with no idea who or what they're dealing with, overreacting to things because "nobody else has ever done that before". Worries about Jack not being able to open his locker and him flipping out, or having to change in front of other boys in gym class. (That just popped into my head. I hope there are bathrooms for him to change separately?) What if he needs a break?
Having run into another mom whose son is (possibly) going to another middle school in the district, I've decided not to worry about Jack going anywhere but where the Autism program will be- which is where they've already planned to send him. At least he'll know many of the kids already. He'll have the one previously known (and trusted) adult in the building when he needs someone to listen. they're the school best equipped (supposedly), so I'm just going to say "F-IT", and see how it goes.
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