Revisiting

Post from Feb 2013 about why we're on the road we're on. It's not pretty, but it's how life is sometimes. You get things you didn't bargain for, you get a child with issues you didn't see coming.

Every child is different, and in the course of being that unique child's advocate (when dealing with school and elsewhere), you have to realize that you can't be in denial. Denial makes it miles worse. Denial keeps you from seeing that maybe they do need help beyond what you are capable of giving them. Maybe the way you thought to reach your kiddo(s) was the right one, but if it was, would you still be headed down a narrow path to the version of hell you've found yourself on?

NEVER be ashamed to ask for help. Don't assume that your spouse knows what is best, either. I can tell you that if I had listened to all of those people in my life who insisted that either 1.) nothing was wrong with my child, or 2.) that he just needed a good spanking, or that 3.)he was slower because he was a boy, and that he'd catch up to his older (much better behaved) sibling in no time, well my son wouldn't be what he is even now. He wouldn't be in a regular public school learning side-by-side with typical peers. Hell, he may not even be talking as well as he does now. Thing is, while I can applaud the efforts of a lot of great educators who encouraged him, it's ME- his MOTHER- who made sure to fight for whatever he needed. WHATEVER was necessary. Some of what was absolutely necessary was just that- not wanted, not dreamed about, not used because I was lazy or didn't do my homework first. But because there were NO OTHER OPTIONS.

From one mother to the next, we're really put here on earth to make sure our children make it to adulthood. In the process of that, we do our best (I would hope) to make sure that they grow up to be well-rounded, educated, sensitive of others, responsible, independent, etc. Because no two kids are alike, no two paths to that goal will be alike. There is no joy to be found (nor should there be) in bashing other parents for the path that they probably haven't even chosen- it was just dumped on them. We sometimes get very little choice in how things work out. So as long as you get your kid from point A to point B relatively unscathed, and with minimal reasons to visit a shrink when they're grown and out of the house, KUDOS to you.