About a week or so ago, the senior neighbors across the street had an ambulance outside of their house. This is a frequent occurrence, unfortunately- they're both in their 90's or so, and barely keeping themselves together. The wife went to the hospital, and came back home a couple of days later. I went over to see how she was doing.
She was fine- just out of breath, recovering from pneumonia. During the course of my brief visit, she mentioned a few things that she's noticed lately as far as Jack was concerned. For one, she said I must have to clean the windows a lot, because he's always got his hands on them. (Yes. Yes, he does). She also expressed relief that he had stopped walking way down the street to catch the school bus; now choosing instead to wait in front of the house. (Yes, we had a conversation about this, because I didn't care for it either). She then asked me if he was "verbal".
Jack has been verbal since preschool. He has been in a typical classroom since entering Kindergarten. He was in speech therapy for a while, but it wasn't really about having an inability to speak. His speech was delayed, as it is with kids with Autism. But that was not why we were there, per se. It was more about appropriate language- asking for what he wants, instead of yelling for it, and so on. He's not overly talkative with adults, and certainly not with people he doesn't know. So it's not unusual for him to be relatively quiet when the neighbors say hello to him. He says hi. (He's not rude). He just doesn't say much else. Thus, they assume he can't talk. As well, much to my chagrin, when I told them that he enjoys walking down to the local gas station, the wife asked "Oh, does he like to look at the street lights?" Sigh. No.He actually walks there, and buys himself a drink. Then he walks home. No drooling, no gazing at street lights, no babbling at people. (Maybe I'm just overly sensitive. They don't know better, I guess).
Then, on top of that, today is Savannah's birthday. Sweet 16. (How the hell time flew by so quickly, I'll never know). She sat at the kitchen table, with her brother, myself, and her dad around her, and opened up her birthday cards from some of her relatives. Yet again, as happens every year, she was completely spoiled by an aunt on the paternal side of my family. Not just her, but other aunts and uncles who like to sign the card together, and throw in whatever cash they'd like to give to the child having a birthday. It's great, and I'm totally appreciative that they even do this. They certainly don't have to, as I haven't talked to many of them in years. (Long story). However, the amount they give Savannah is probably double whatever they send Jack.
It's been ages since they've seen either kid- like, 14 years or more. Jack was an infant the last time they saw him, as we moved out of state. So maybe it's due to them not feeling close enough to give him that much. Then, there's the fact that he's younger than his sister. Perhaps they don't realize that they're actually very close in age, thus he would actually realize he's not getting as much money. But he also has Autism. Maybe I'm the one making an ass out of myself for assuming this about them, but perhaps they think he's a drooling, babbling, idiot. That he wouldn't know how much money they gave him? (My own mother has done this as well, and I've had to tell her it's not fair. She's since just sent me a check and let me dole it out). Clearly, today he did. He said (albeit in a laughing voice) "Wow, I NEVER get that much money!". No, son. No, you don't.
Do I ever say anything about it? No. Why? Because I didn't ask them to send money, and they do it because they want to. My husband and I have discussed taking Savannah's money that they send, and splitting it up between her and Jack. However, I don't know that this is the answer, either. This year, as I'm pretty sure Jack will not get anywhere near what he sister just did, my husband and I will make it up to him ourselves. As usual.
(I won't even bother getting into how little personal time Jack gets with family, compared to Savannah. I think the last time Savannah's aunt took her for the weekend, I made it well known that I was not okay with it. To my husband, at least. He'll never tell his family to change, though. But it burns me up. I think these people are afraid of what he might do, simply because he has a diagnosis of Autism. It's a damn shame).
She was fine- just out of breath, recovering from pneumonia. During the course of my brief visit, she mentioned a few things that she's noticed lately as far as Jack was concerned. For one, she said I must have to clean the windows a lot, because he's always got his hands on them. (Yes. Yes, he does). She also expressed relief that he had stopped walking way down the street to catch the school bus; now choosing instead to wait in front of the house. (Yes, we had a conversation about this, because I didn't care for it either). She then asked me if he was "verbal".
Jack has been verbal since preschool. He has been in a typical classroom since entering Kindergarten. He was in speech therapy for a while, but it wasn't really about having an inability to speak. His speech was delayed, as it is with kids with Autism. But that was not why we were there, per se. It was more about appropriate language- asking for what he wants, instead of yelling for it, and so on. He's not overly talkative with adults, and certainly not with people he doesn't know. So it's not unusual for him to be relatively quiet when the neighbors say hello to him. He says hi. (He's not rude). He just doesn't say much else. Thus, they assume he can't talk. As well, much to my chagrin, when I told them that he enjoys walking down to the local gas station, the wife asked "Oh, does he like to look at the street lights?" Sigh. No.He actually walks there, and buys himself a drink. Then he walks home. No drooling, no gazing at street lights, no babbling at people. (Maybe I'm just overly sensitive. They don't know better, I guess).
Then, on top of that, today is Savannah's birthday. Sweet 16. (How the hell time flew by so quickly, I'll never know). She sat at the kitchen table, with her brother, myself, and her dad around her, and opened up her birthday cards from some of her relatives. Yet again, as happens every year, she was completely spoiled by an aunt on the paternal side of my family. Not just her, but other aunts and uncles who like to sign the card together, and throw in whatever cash they'd like to give to the child having a birthday. It's great, and I'm totally appreciative that they even do this. They certainly don't have to, as I haven't talked to many of them in years. (Long story). However, the amount they give Savannah is probably double whatever they send Jack.
It's been ages since they've seen either kid- like, 14 years or more. Jack was an infant the last time they saw him, as we moved out of state. So maybe it's due to them not feeling close enough to give him that much. Then, there's the fact that he's younger than his sister. Perhaps they don't realize that they're actually very close in age, thus he would actually realize he's not getting as much money. But he also has Autism. Maybe I'm the one making an ass out of myself for assuming this about them, but perhaps they think he's a drooling, babbling, idiot. That he wouldn't know how much money they gave him? (My own mother has done this as well, and I've had to tell her it's not fair. She's since just sent me a check and let me dole it out). Clearly, today he did. He said (albeit in a laughing voice) "Wow, I NEVER get that much money!". No, son. No, you don't.
Do I ever say anything about it? No. Why? Because I didn't ask them to send money, and they do it because they want to. My husband and I have discussed taking Savannah's money that they send, and splitting it up between her and Jack. However, I don't know that this is the answer, either. This year, as I'm pretty sure Jack will not get anywhere near what he sister just did, my husband and I will make it up to him ourselves. As usual.
(I won't even bother getting into how little personal time Jack gets with family, compared to Savannah. I think the last time Savannah's aunt took her for the weekend, I made it well known that I was not okay with it. To my husband, at least. He'll never tell his family to change, though. But it burns me up. I think these people are afraid of what he might do, simply because he has a diagnosis of Autism. It's a damn shame).
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